It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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