She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
