I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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