do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize