i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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