thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
