Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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