I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
