I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
