In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
