So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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