in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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