apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
