would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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