Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
