Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
