You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
