sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
