im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
