I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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