when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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