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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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• (619): View more from California

  wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh

  (1-619): View more from California

  maybe you did when you were drunk

  (619): View more from California

  no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement

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• (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.

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