are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
