My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
