super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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