Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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