Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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