This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
