what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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