you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
