dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
