i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
