I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
