escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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