i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
