If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
