Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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