i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Drunk is not a location!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
