It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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