i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
