his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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