Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
