Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
