I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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