Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
