is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize