My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
