i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
