who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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