we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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