There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
