I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
