i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
