Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She told me I should be a condom model.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
