If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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