Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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