it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
