...so i touched it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize