waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
