I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
